Ep. 77: SAVED From A Life Of ADDICTION w/ Colin Lancelot

Andrew Marcus:

Well, hey, INDOUBT audio world, Andrew here. Hope you’re doing well. We got a great program today. We have Colin Lancelot who’s a local pastor here for student and young adult ministries, and he is unpacking a powerful story of God’s goodness and grace in his life, battling addiction with drugs and alcohol, substance abuse, all that kind of stuff. And God just radically transforming his life. It is so powerful. We hope you tune in and enjoy the program. God bless you.

Well, today in the studio we have Colin Lancelot. How you doing, man?

Colin Lancelot:

I’m doing great.

Andrew Marcus:

Awesome.

Colin Lancelot:

Excited to be here.

Andrew Marcus:

I’m so pumped that you’re here, man, and I’m so pumped Liam’s with us. This is going to be a great conversation. We’re talking about addiction. I was actually listening to a podcast on the way here and I listened to this podcast and they said that a hundred thousand people die a year of drug overdose. So addiction is a big deal, and even Marcus and I were talking with Chris earlier today about just the pain meds or it’s just so easy to get lost in it. And so we want to address it. Tell us a little bit about your ministry life, what you’re doing right now, and then we’re going to backtrack and hear your story and what God’s done in your life. So what are you up to these days?

Colin Lancelot:

Yeah, so essentially, like you had mentioned, I’m working at Village Church and I’ve been there for almost five years now.

Andrew Marcus:

Okay, cool.

Colin Lancelot:

Yeah, so I’m overseeing the students and young adults ministries. So essentially I get to provide oversight for our youth staff. And then when it comes to young adults, yeah, we’re just building that ministry. And so yeah. My wife is actually on staff as well, so it’s really cool to be able to work at the church together.

Andrew Marcus:

And what does she do there?

Colin Lancelot:

So she’s the connections associate at our Surrey location, so she helps kind of make the big church feel smaller and helps people get plugged into the church.

Andrew Marcus:

Awesome.

Colin Lancelot:

So she’s been doing that, and she also works as a nurse, so it’s busy. We have a lots going on, so we’re just constantly trying to navigate ministry and marriage and all those things together. But it’s been awesome. We’ve been married for almost eight years now.

Andrew Marcus:

Cool. Amazing, man. Praise God. Tell us a little bit about your journey because addiction is a big part of your story. And so maybe walk us back and tell us kind of how that started in your life and what happened as you were going through it.

Colin Lancelot:

Sure. No. Absolutely. Yeah, there’s just so many pieces to it, but I’ll just start off by saying just especially what leads to what I’m doing right now. I had a Bible college professor who would often tell us that our mess often becomes our ministry. So when I think of my life, that’s very connected when I think of where I’ve come from and where I am today. But yeah, it’s funny. When we think of this idea of addiction, if people knew me growing up, whether it was friends at school or just people that were around me, I was probably one of the least likely people that you’d expect to ever be in that world. And so for myself, I didn’t originally grow up in a Christian home. We had a bit of a church background, but we didn’t actually start going to church until I was about eight years old.

So where things took a little bit of a turn in my life and where I guess the whole reality of addiction kind of started to creep in was when I was coping with pain in my life. So when I was eight years old, my parents sat me down and I remember they told me that they needed to talk. So it was one of those things where I’m like, “What’s going on here? Am I in trouble? What did I do?” And I remember my parents sat me down and they told me that they were separating and they were going to get a divorce. And so the thing about that at that age is that, I mean, it completely shook my foundation completely. It was one of those things where… I was an overall pretty confident kid, pretty outgoing kid. I was involved in a bunch of different activities and hobbies and things like that. I remember that was a bit of a shift in my foundation where I just felt just like everything was falling apart around me, and I noticed that my level of social anxiety increased.

I just felt unstable with what was going on at home and the implications of that. There was a whole bunch of things that the divorce led to just in my family life in general, just in the way that my parents were dealing with it too. It was a really, really hard time. And I guess where addiction started to creep in before I ever went to substances, was when I was eight years old, was my introduction to pornography. So being a young kid, I was super into computers and I would spend a lot of time on the computer, but I mean, you give an 8-year-old a computer with full access to the internet, it doesn’t take too long to all of a sudden stumble across stuff that you’re not wanting to or that you know that shouldn’t be. So I would say that my addiction life started there, and then especially from that place, the cycle of shame. Just going to something to find comfort in the midst of the stuff that was all going on at home was, yeah, that was really, really hard.

So around that age too, I mean, we started going to church and with that, started going to youth group and things like that, which was great. The church was a huge support for my family during this time. But I think the thing that was really hard for me as well is I had this hidden life of this addiction, and then there was this discussion around holiness and what does it mean to follow Jesus? And I felt there was this huge discrepancy with my life and then what we talked about at church. So there was a lot of shame. I always kind of struggled with this feeling of unworthiness of God’s love. So yeah, that led me to a darker and darker place, I’d say. I guess where things continued to take a little bit of a turn… I struggled really to make friends at school overall.

I remember at a young age really struggling with depression, and I remember just really struggling with this idea that God, if you’re good and if you’re loving, why is all this bad stuff happening to me in my life? And so where things really took a turn for me in my life, when I was 13 years old I ended up going to a friend’s house. It was a friend that I thought I could trust and I was sexually assaulted. And so I think I remember at that age too where home life felt unstable, and there was the feelings of shame and all the things that I was wrestling with there. And then there was this really traumatic experience that I had in my life. And so I remember that was kind of the point where I’m like, “You know what, God? I don’t know if you’re actually for me. I don’t know if you actually love me. I don’t even actually know if you’re worth following.” So I remember that was a bit of a turn where I’m like, you know what? I’m going to take matters into my own hands.

Andrew Marcus:

Wow, yeah.

Colin Lancelot:

So I was like, you know what? I struggled with confidence. I struggled with a sense of belonging. I was really struggling with a sense of identity. So yeah, it was funny, actually. I grew up working in restaurants. That was kind of where I first started getting my first job. So I worked as a dishwasher and eventually a busboy. And in those environments, I knew a lot of people that were older than I was. So the thing about them is that they were into partying and they were into substance use. So it didn’t take long for me to find out where I could buy drugs if I wanted to. So at 14 years old, I decided to go and buy some weed and just do it just to see if that would help me deal with the stuff that was going on internally. So yeah, it wasn’t at a party. It wasn’t based on peer pressure. It’s not like I was forced into the situation. It was just, I knew it was there, and honestly, I fell in love right away.

Andrew Marcus:

And you did it to just try to almost numb.

Colin Lancelot:

Exactly.

Andrew Marcus:

And just try to ease the pain.

Colin Lancelot:

Exactly.

Andrew Marcus:

Which a lot of people do.

Colin Lancelot:

Yeah, I’d say that’s probably the most common reason. At the end of the day, these emotions, I’d say substance abuse is a lot more to do with survival than anything else because there’s these deep pains of woundedness and isolation and loneliness, and oftentimes it’s like we’re trying to fill a void. And so for me, the thing that I noticed about drugs is that the effect was instantaneous. So yeah, I found that I went from zero to a hundred, and I was just smoking weed every day, and all of a sudden I felt like, oh, this is something, even though it was momentary, that was able to help me just escape from the stuff that I was dealing with. So to kind of fast-forward the tape a little bit. Again, I struggled to make friends at school, but when smoking weed became a normal part of my life, when I went into high school, all of a sudden I met a bunch of other kids that were smoking weed as well.

And so the thing that I found is that all of a sudden I had a bunch of people to hang out with, and all of a sudden I had this sense of belonging. I had this sense of identity, even though it was in the wrong things. And it was funny because I was still kind of going to youth group at this point, but the thing that I was realizing, it’s like, I know what we’re doing is wrong, but at the end of the day, I mean, they accept me. This is where I belong. And so I cared more about that than anything else. And so, I mean, you can only start hanging around those crowds before you start getting exposed to more things. And so I think it was 15 years old, I remember one of my buddies came up to me and he said, “Hey, would you ever want to try ecstasy to give that a shot?”

And I remember I always thought, I’m like, “You know what? I don’t even want drink alcohol. I’m just going to stick with smoking weed. Keep it natural.” But then my buddy’s like, “Oh, you should try it at least once.” So I remember, yeah, we decided to try that. And as soon as I tried ecstasy for the first time, it was kind of like, “Oh, if this is what drugs are like, I want to try all of it.” So within the month, I was experimenting with mushrooms, acid. I had experimented with coke for the first time, and so all of a sudden the gates blew open and I wanted to just try it all.

Andrew Marcus:

Wow.

Colin Lancelot:

And then of course, at the beginning, you just think that, oh, this is just fun. At the end of the day, I mean, this is just a bit of a phase. I’m going to do this while I’m in high school, and then when I need to quit, I will. And so my friends and I were all doing this, and we’re having all sorts of crazy, wild experiences experimenting with different drugs and whatnot. But little did we know the path that we were actually heading down. Little did we know the way that this was actually taking us captive, and we had no idea how bad things were going to get. And I know you alluded to it earlier, but especially with prescription drugs, it’s so easy for people to fall into that.

But we had a friend in our circle whose dad had some back surgery around that time and he had an Oxycontin prescription. And so I remember when we were in the midst of our experimenting, we had the chance to try Oxy. And I remember when we were, I think we were 16 years old at the time, and we were like, “Oh, it’s from a doctor. It can’t be that bad.” We were just like, this is a safer drug to try. So I remember we all started trying Oxycontin and then that’s where things got really, really bad because then we’re doing this stuff, and then before you know it, it doesn’t take long before a physical dependence starts. And so by the time, within a few months, I mean, a bunch of us, we were using this stuff all the time. And the thing that was crazy is we noticed that if we chose to not use, we were starting to get sick because we were going through withdrawal.

And so right around this time, I was living with my mom, and my little sister was there at the time, too. I mean, my mom, she had all sorts of stuff that she was dealing with especially. She had a bunch of health issues and mental health struggles, struggling with the divorce. She was just trying to really do what she could as a single mom to just really help us out, help us kids out. But the thing that I was noticing is I was becoming a real burden in the family. The thing that was tough is that my mom, I mean, when they talk about the addict manipulating and doing what they can to be able to get their next fix, I mean, I became very, very cruel towards my mom. Very manipulative, did whatever I could to be able to get more money out of her. I mean, I was still working a job, but when you’re in that cycle of addiction, eventually you need more and more and more, need more money to buy more drugs.

So I mean, I’d call on my mom all the time to be able to get more money, to be able to pay off drug dealers or to be able to get another fix. There’s a point where I started selling drugs to be able to just be able to pay for my addiction as well. And so, yeah, things were getting really bad. And it’s funny because when I was in it, I mean, you know things aren’t great, but you don’t realize how bad things really are until someone really starts to point it out.

And so I remember there was this one weekend where my dad came to pick us up because we’d go see him every other weekend, and my dad came in the door and he said, “Hey, Colin, I’m here to pick you up to go to my place.” And my dad looked at me and he could tell that something was off. And so I remember I told my dad, “I’m like, dad, I’m not feeling good. I’m not going to go to your place this weekend. I am just not feeling up to it.” And so my dad, he’s like, something seems fishy about this. So my dad, he ended up going back home and he did a bunch of research on Google, and he’s very inquisitive. So he was looking up all this information, and then he called me a couple days later and he just flat out asked me, he said,” Colin, how long have you been using Oxycontin for?”

Andrew Marcus:

Wow.

Colin Lancelot:

Yeah.

Andrew Marcus:

So that was the one that was messing you up the most?

Colin Lancelot:

Yes. Yeah. It was at the point where I was needing to use more and more over time. And then the thing is, I would get so dope sick because I’d be in so much physical pain. Anxiety would be through the roof, like I’d be nauseous. It was one of those things where it’s like, I needed this just to be able to function normally.

Andrew Marcus:

Wow.

Colin Lancelot:

Yeah, it was rough. So I mean, I think when my dad, he called me out on it, I’m like, “Oh, maybe this is a problem.” But of course, when my dad called me though, he flat out asked, he’s like, “How long have you been using Oxycontin for?” And like any good addict, I just lied.

Andrew Marcus:

Yeah. You said, new phone. Who this?

Colin Lancelot:

No, exactly. Yeah. Well, I was just like, “No, no, no, no, dad.” It was like bad’s a keto. I don’t know. I just came up with some sort of excuse as to why I wasn’t feeling good. But I think that phone call shook me because then I’m like, “Oh, this isn’t…”

Andrew Marcus:

It’s noticed.

Colin Lancelot:

It’s not as hidden as I thought it was. At least I think I thought I could just continue to do it and nobody would notice. So yeah, I mean, that was the point where I’m like, “Okay, maybe I should consider trying to get help.” And so it was a few days after that that I called my dad back and I said, “Hey, dad, you know what? I lied. I am struggling and I actually don’t know what to do.”

Andrew Marcus:

Wow.

Colin Lancelot:

So that was a point where, yeah, I just realized, I’m like, you know what? I do need to reach out. I think it was one of those things where I knew I needed to reach out, but I wasn’t actually fully committed to the work that was ahead that I needed to take. But, yeah, from that place, my dad’s said, “Okay, bud, let’s help you out with this.” So the thing that I’m just so grateful for is my dad really stepped into my life in a big way around this time. And so I felt like there was a lot in our relationship that really grew deeper throughout this. But yeah, it was crazy. I mean, I tried going to a 10-day detox program in Edmonton, and it was one of those things where I remember going to this thing for the first time with my parents, and you have to fill out this intake form, and you have to notify all the drugs that you’ve been using.

And of course, my parents are both looking just so shocked because they didn’t realize how bad things really were. But yeah, I did this 10-day detox program, and I think we all had this sense of hope as a family thinking that, “Oh, yeah, this is just going to be a little blip, and Colin will be fine, and we just need to do this program, and then he can kind of go back to normal.” But yeah, it was one of those things where especially because that didn’t pan out too well for me, I’m like, “Oh, man, this has a bigger hold on me than I’m giving it credit for.” So I remember, I think I went through the 10-day program. I think it was at day nine I’m already planning my next relapse.

Andrew Marcus:

Oh, wow.

Colin Lancelot:

I knew I had a paycheck waiting for me at my job. So I remember, I think as soon as I left, I went and grabbed the car, went to work, picked up my paycheck, and then I’m there about to use drugs, and my dad’s calling me to check in on me and not being honest, and I’m just getting high while he’s on the phone.

Andrew Marcus:

Oh, man.

Colin Lancelot:

And it was one of those things where I’m like, “Yeah, you know what? If I’m going to continue to do this, I got to keep it a secret.” And I kept buying into this lie that somehow I could do this manageably. I could just do it and it’d be fine. But yeah, it was one of those things, and I don’t need to, I mean, the story, it continues, but at the end of the day, it only gets worse. The thing that was crazy too, I think this is actually pretty relevant to the conversation because we’re using Oxy and all that. And then the thing that’s crazy is that there was all sorts of changes that happened with the availability of Oxycontin. I knew a lot of guys that were robbing pharmacies and involved in that, but they started to change the way that they were formulating Oxy to make it harder to get high. So the drug dealers thought well ahead on this one. And so that’s when heroin started to become more available. So that’s something we were doing as well.

And then I remember there’s this one day where we got some Oxy that looked a little different, and our drug dealers like, “Oh, yeah, no, it’s just a stronger form of Oxycontin.” But little did we know that that’s when fentanyl was starting to come on the scene. So yeah, it was crazy. I remember when we first did that, we’re like, “Oh, wow.” It was a whole other realm of high. So yeah, a bunch of us. Yeah, that’s when things got really, really bad.

Andrew Marcus:

Fentanyl is killing a lot of people.

Colin Lancelot:

100%. So I was going to say too, three of my best friends from high school have all passed away from fentanyl overdoses. Yeah. There’s a list of 10 people on my phone that I’ve been either in recovery with or I went to school with or I was friends with to varying levels and they’ve all lost their lives due to fentanyl. So it’s terrifying. So yeah, we were into that.

And so I think there was so many things where I’m like, it’s literally by the grace of God that I’m even around. When I think of driving under the influence of those drugs, I mean by the grace of God I didn’t hurt anybody or myself. There were so many moments where I was in bad situations with drug dealers or hanging out in certain parts of the city where things could have gone horribly wrong. But by the grace of God, he had protected me in the midst of that. But I mean, the process, I tried going to treatment centers. I tried going to AA meetings, NA meetings, and there’s things that helped for a little bit, but I’d continue to go back.

Andrew Marcus:

That’s what I wanted to ask you. We see a lot of the self-help and a lot of the different like you can do this kind of mentality, but is that successful? Was there something else? I mean, I’m sure you took some tools from it.

Colin Lancelot:

One hundred percent, yeah.

Andrew Marcus:

There had to have been a big… What was your big turnaround where God just really broke in?

Colin Lancelot:

Yeah, there’s all sorts of thoughts I have around those things. I think the thing is that there’s always valuable things to take away from all sorts of programs and steps and things like that. I think we’re, especially as a follower of Jesus though, when you go to the AA meetings, they say you surrender your life to God as you understand him. But I’m like, I know as a follower of Jesus know I need to give my life to Jesus Christ. He’s the one that can redeem. He’s the one that can restore. So I think one of the things, I guess a turning point, and I guess this is how the ideas connect. But I remember being in a really rough patch, continuing to go through this addiction cycle. My parents didn’t know what to do. Where God really started to show up was there’s this church that planted across the street from my parents’ place.

So just before this conversation we were talking about a little bit, but there’s this church that planted called Crosspoint just northeast Edmonton. And basically my dad and my stepmom started to attend this church. My stepmom, she loves the Lord, and she’s just been a prayer warrior for our family. So she’s just played a huge role in my recovery as well. But they started going to this church, and basically they met with the pastor and they said, “Hey, we got a son that’s kind of messed up. Can you meet with him?” And he’s like, “Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. I’ll meet with him for coffee.” And I remember being terrified that my parents set me up for a coffee meeting with a pastor because this guy’s a leader in the church. He’s going to judge me. He’s going to shame me. I’m just a stupid addict.

I was going through every reason as to why I didn’t want to go to this coffee meeting. But yeah, this played a part in the turnaround moment for me. As I remember, I sat down with this pastor, and his name was Rob, and basically, he’s just like, “Bud, tell me everything that’s going on in your life.” And I decided to open up to him, and his response was so different than anything that I could have expected. He just shared the gospel with me, and he just said, “Colin, this is not the end of your story. Jesus loves you so much, and he’s the only one that can actually turn your life around.” And so he’s like, “We need to get you plugged into community. We need to get you surrounded, and we need to just really support you in this.” So I felt like there was a bunch of different supports that were showing up in my life.

But yeah, I ended up joining this men’s group that was extremely supportive. It was this men’s young adults group, and I was the most useless guy in the group. I’d go smoke heroin in my car and go to this group.

Andrew Marcus:

Oh my gosh.

Colin Lancelot:

And these guys would just pray for me. And I didn’t read the books. I didn’t do the studies, but I remember these guys would just share the gospel with me, pray for me. I could barely keep my eyes open half the time, but I remember they would just support me in the messiest part of my life. And so yeah, there was a series of events that took place, but what happened was is that I ended up going to a detox center downtown Edmonton. And when I was in there, that was probably one of the most terrifying moments of my life because I’m in there and I’m thinking to myself, when is this actually going to get better?

I’m in this place and there’s people that have been on the streets and in addiction for years, decades, and I’m thinking to myself, I’m 19 years old, and I’m like, “Is this really where my life’s going to go? Am I actually going to be able to stop?” And I remember just being so broken and just crying. I’m like, “God, if you’re real and if you’re there, I don’t know why you’d want to have anything to do with me.” So I ended up going back home after this detox thing, and I remember my parents, they were feeling so hopeless at this point. I remember I had caused so much tension because I went to go live with my dad. I missed that detail, but there was a point where I went to go live with him. And I had caused so many issues at home just even when my parents’ marriage and I was causing so much stress for my siblings, and I was feeling like very much the black sheep of the family.

So I remember going down to my room thinking, “What am I going to do next?” And just really trying to plan it out. And I remember there’s just this point where I’m like, “You know what? I just want to end my life.” I was like, “You know what? Me being around, I don’t think it’s going to be helpful to anybody else.” And so I remember just thinking, well, I might as well plan my next relapse and I’m going through this thing. But then there was this point where I think there were so many people that were praying for me. There were so many people that were just really wanting to lean in and just really support me. And I really felt that people’s prayers really made an impact. But I remember I just got to this point where I just broke down before God, and I just said, “God, I need you to show up in my life.” I was like, “God, I’m a mess. I’m a train wreck.”

There was so much shame associated with the life that I was living. And I just remember just crying out to God and be like, “God, if you’re real, I need you to show up because I don’t want to live anymore.” And I remember I was just sobbing and having this moment. And I remember there was just this shift where all of a sudden in the midst of my sobbing prayer, there was just this peace that filled my bedroom, and I just felt like the Spirit of God just filled the space. And I just felt like this is the clearest I’ve ever sensed God speaking to me ever before in my life. And I felt like God was saying, “Colin, I love you, but if you want your life to change, you have to surrender everything.” There was so much of my life in my recovery where I’d give God a little or maybe not even give God because my relationship with him wasn’t really always there necessarily, but I was always willing to surrender certain parts of my addiction for the sake of recovery.

But I knew in this moment I had to give everything. I had to drop everything to follow Jesus. And so for me, in that moment, I ended up watching some testimony videos online, on YouTube, of just people’s lives that were transformed by Jesus, because I’m like, I don’t even know what this fully means. And so I ended up watching this one testimony video of this guy, and it was a really cheesy video. It wasn’t well done at all, but I was locked in, and this guy was talking about how he was a drug dealer, he was a drug addict, and how God showed up at a crazy way in his life. He ended up going to a program called Teen Challenge.

Andrew Marcus:

I’ve heard of Teen Challenge. Love Teen Challenge.

Colin Lancelot:

Amazing ministry. So yeah, and there was just something about that where, and it’s funny because there’s so many people that were telling me about the program of Teen Challenge. I actually had a police officer that ended up at our place due to a situation that we were in, that was a Christian and talked to me about Teen Challenge as well. There were so many times where I felt like, and so I felt like it was kind of this moment where I’m like, “God, I feel like you want me to go to Teen Challenge.” And so I ended up applying for the program.

Andrew Marcus:

Did you?

Colin Lancelot:

Right in that moment.

Andrew Marcus:

Wow.

Colin Lancelot:

And so I was stubborn with God though, because I was as you know, living in Edmonton at the time. Well, if I’m going to go to Teen Challenge, I want to go somewhere nice. So I signed up for the Kelowna location, and so I remember I signed up for that, and I just felt that there was so much peace that came with that decision. I just really felt that God was calling me to go there, and I felt like this is going to be the surrendering moment that’s going to be transformative for me.

So the next morning I remember I went to talk to my parents and I said, “Hey, I applied for Teen Challenge.” And they’re just so shocked because they’ve been begging me to go to treatment again for months. They were just trying to figure out when I’d finally get my head on straight. But I just told them, “Yeah, I just feel like God’s wanting me to go to Teen Challenge.” So I applied to that program and within the month my dad and I were in the car and heading off.

Andrew Marcus:

No way.

Colin Lancelot:

Yeah. And so that was probably the longest car ride of my entire life. I was so nervous, so stressed out. I remember feeling so sick to my stomach, and my dad’s like, “I think you’re nervous.” I’m like, “Shut up, dad. I’m not nervous.” But yeah, it was crazy. And my dad even tells me too, that was probably one of the hardest things for him as a father was dropping me off there and just not being able to bring me back home. But he just had to trust. It’s like, you know what? I’m just trusting that this is what Colin needs.

Andrew Marcus:

Wow.

Colin Lancelot:

Yeah. So that was a transformative program for me. That place was amazing. It was hard. It was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

Andrew Marcus:

Wow.

Colin Lancelot:

You, you’re there for a year. There’s so many rules that you have to follow. When I first saw the rule book, I’m like, “Man, this place is a cult. What am I doing here? This is ridiculous.”

Andrew Marcus:

Have you guys heard of Teen Challenge before?

Chris Bredeson:

Yeah, I’ve heard of it.

Liam Burgess:

Heard of it. Yeah.

Andrew Marcus:

So David Wilkerson is the one who started Teen Challenge. That’s the book that I was telling you about, The Cross and the Switchblade. Amazing story of how it all came to be.

Colin Lancelot:

Totally. Yeah. Yeah.

Andrew Marcus:

So it’s a faith-based recovery program.

Colin Lancelot:

Yes, exactly. Yeah. So it’s one year, and then while you’re in the program, you have to submit to a bunch of rules. And so the whole thing is based around, they really want you to submit to the program, but then it’s founded around Jesus. So I mean, everything’s super structured for you. You have one hour of free time every day. If you ended up breaking any of the rules, you are on discipline. And if you’re on discipline, that meant no seconds at mealtime, no coffee in the morning, the free time was spent chopping firewood. It was rigorous. You wouldn’t be able to call home, you couldn’t have visits.

Andrew Marcus:

No way.

Colin Lancelot:

So if my parents didn’t hear from me for a while it’s because they knew I was on discipline. So yeah, it definitely, it really just poked you in a lot of ways. But it was great. I mean, every morning we started the days with devos, spending time with the Word. There was tons of counseling that I got when I was in the program. I think the thing that was helpful for me is really digging into what was causing me to use in the first place. The woundedness, the pain, the lies that I believed about myself, the narratives that I had about my identity. And there was so much unraveling that Jesus had to bring healing to. But it was an amazing program.

I wasn’t able to walk the stage when I was in high school just due to my attendance and all the stuff that was going on. But at Teen Challenge, when you finish the… I was there 13 months, they held me back a month. But I remember getting to walk the stage at Teen Challenge and wearing the cap and gown, and that was such a redeeming moment for me where I just felt like God was really restoring something that was robbed from me because of my past. And I remember my family being there and just the tears. I think before that, I don’t think I’d ever seen my dad cry before in his life. And my dad was just sobbing because my dad knew he got his son back.

Andrew Marcus:

Come on, man.

Colin Lancelot:

And then same with my mom. There was just so much stuff for her. I just had to apologize. There was so much stuff where my addiction, it just caused so much pain in my family, to my siblings, everyone. Yeah, it was so destructive. But the beautiful thing is that…

Andrew Marcus:

The grace of God.

Colin Lancelot:

The grace of God. Yeah. And like I said, I’ve lost a bunch of my friends and I’ve gone to friends’ funerals, and at the end of the day, there’s nothing special about me. There’s nothing better about who I am or what I did. It’s just like God was reaching out his hand and I decided to hold on. That was what it comes down to.

Andrew Marcus:

So good. Man, I really appreciate your time. Thank you for your vulnerability, sharing your story. It’s just so beautiful to see what God has done in your life.

Colin Lancelot:

That was awesome. Thank you.

Andrew Marcus:

Hey, thanks so much for joining us today. For more great content, check out THE INDOUBT SHOW on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Music, or wherever you stream your podcast. We hope you enjoyed it today. Feel free to check out indoubt.ca. We have some great resources available to you. Have an awesome day.

Hey, thank you so much for tuning in this week. We want to leave you with some resources, two recovery centers. One is called Wagner Hills if you’re local in British Columbia. The other, there’s recovery centers all over the place. It’s called Teen Challenge. Colin mentioned Teen Challenge as a part of his story. We want to make sure that you have resources available. You’re not meant to suffer and struggle alone and so reach out for help. Reach out to a local community and we pray that God continues to minister and bring you hope and freedom in Jesus’ name. God bless.

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